My Clients are My TeachersHello, Subscriber First Name! Clients come to coaching expecting to learn new skills, solve a dilemma, change careers, find a new job, boost their confidence, broaden their perspectives, or to get unstuck. I imagine few people though, realize they are helping their coach grow as well. In every session, a client responds in a unexpected way. These moments remind me how each of us sees the world through our own tinted lens. We enter every interaction and every relationship with a lifetime of stories, beliefs, and expectations. A miscommunication earlier this year, brought this to light. I had offered a former client a complementary session as a thank you for her testimonial on my new website. After I made the offer, I got busy and forgot about it—an outcome of moving too fast! When she reached out a couple of weeks later, to schedule her session, I thought she was looking to extend her previous engagement. I wrote back to ask how many sessions she was looking to schedule. Then crickets. . . . No email response from her. I wondered what was going on, and sensed something was off. A few days later, she responded and gently reminded me that she was looking to schedule the complementary session, not to extend. Suddenly the delay was clear: my mistake put her in an awkward spot. I immediately emailed an apology and we set up time to meet. During the session, I asked if my error made it awkward for her to know how to respond. Yes! She explained how she needed a couple of days to sit with it, and remind herself that although it might be an awkward conversation, she had nothing to apologize for. Her first thought was that she would apologize for the misunderstanding. I was so delighted she caught herself and didn’t apologize! It wasn’t her mistake, it was mine. This opened a dialogue about how too often people lead with apologies, even when they’re not at fault. She reflected that her hesitation to respond was connected to wanting to please, and that she’s getting better at recognizing this . . . it’s a muscle you need to work out, to train. She experienced the benefit of facing an awkward situation, rather than running away. She guessed that most people would’ve never written back. This brave client’s willingness to stay in connection—even when it was hard—highlights the importance of courage, trust, self-awareness and respect in every relationship. It’s how we get through it together.
|
